“Well, I didn’t have THAT on my bingo board!” has become a cliche when referencing anything happening that’s unpredictable in either pop culture or sports. You know what’s the most unpredictable world within that realm?

The soap opera that has been college football. With the season starting and this likely being a response used by the masses, you should have to prove that you actually have a Bingo board and that it is not actually present on your card that you have created. There needs to be some accountability. These can be things that will occur consistently or a wild prediction made on the year that is so utterly “college football,” but it’s time to be held to a standard.

SQUARE 1: Gus Johnson will force a new nickname down our ear holes

Last year he overdid Maserati Marv for Marvin Harrison and Blake the Great for Blake Corum. We already had “the Big Zamboni” for Penn State OC Andy Kotelnicki. Make some predictions on what’s to come for his next games. Is it “Edgar Alan Throw” for Dylan Raiola since he announced his commitment to Nebraska with a poem? Is it Dillon the Villain for Dillon Gabriel if he snatches the soul of a team on a game-winning drive?

SQUARE 2: An announcer will reference the video game having never played it

NCAA Football 25 is all the rage, and there undoubtedly will be a “how do you do, fellow kids?” moment when someone tries to force a “Man, did he hit that B-button there, Jim!” on the broadcast call.

SQUARE 3: Lane Kiffin posting cryptic Emojis when Ohio State loses a game

Lane Kiffin is the quiet, yet loud assassin on social platforms. He’s already talked a lot about other programs and their NIL collectives, specifically a link to an article of Ohio State’s $20 million roster. If they lose a game, Lane will likely be watching, and the passive-aggressiveness will be so beautiful.

SQUARE 4: A realigned team that has a mass amount of travel will lose some or all of their equipment

There have been teams that have lost uniforms or traveled with the wrong duds in NORMAL circumstances. Now, with realignment opening up the possibility of cross-country travel, we’re certainly going to get a story about uniforms being left on the wrong bus that’s an 12-hour flight away. Stanford accidentally leaving their whites in California while playing conference opponent Syracuse in upstate New York can’t be ruled out.

SQUARE 5: Marching bands will be performing “Not Like Us” at least monthly

Halftime shows have become increasingly viral by performing songs relevant to the culture. The universal language that gets every single crowd hyped this year was Kendrick Lamar’s “WOP WOP WOP WOP!” and we’ll get that from 22-year-old’s marching with brass instruments everywhere.

SQUARE 6: People will dress as Conor Stallions in the stands

A headset, binoculars, a notepad, maize and navy attire- the jokes will write themselves at any Michigan road game.

SQUARE 7: Somehow a hand signal making fun of Colorado will be the new Horns Down

Horns down has been the hand sign for just dunking on the “popular majority” teams even in events NOT involving Texas for some reason that always gets the people going. We already saw a few at the first OU game this year. However, it’s legal to do now in the SEC, which makes it less fun, with Texas making the playoffs last year to shed the “we’re back” fraud allegations, it’s not as timely.

However, teams are going to love going after and embarrassing the most talked-about 4-8 team from last year, Deion Sanders and the Colorado Buffaloes. Dan Lanning of Oregon last season yelled ferociously “They’re fighting for CLICKS! We’re fighting for WINS!” in a pregame speech promptly before obliterating them 42-6.

There’s a world this year where people will get creative to dunk on the Buffs somehow. It may have to do with Deion’s sunglasses saga, his Louis bags after he told players to hit the portal, or maybe Shedeur’s “watch flex” celebration. College fanbases can be brutal, and they’ll find a way.

SQUARE 8: Pat McAfee will be this year’s Kirk Herbstreit

Getting into a rivalry with a fan base
Last year, it was Kirk getting crucified by Florida State fans for saying they didn’t deserve to make the College Football Playoff without Jordan Travis. The rivalry and his rants where it got into his head with his responses were an unbelievable feud (that was promptly settled in week 0).

Pat McAfee on Gameday is there to say things that are entertaining, less-so intelligible. With his reactions from other things he’s said in the past, we’re just waiting for him to say something uninformed that fires up a fan base at some point. He already said Washington State was a “waste of time” on the show last year, so who’s next?

SQUARE 9: A fight between two wildly culture-clashed fan bases occurs in the stands

The travel of fan bases that are so culturally different, be it the boat shoes and dockers-wearing southeast to the bundled up midwesterners to the, whatever Florida is, is going to be a chaotic crockpot. Those differences magnified is going to create some culture shock that will be unbelievable content.

Create your own Bingo Card. Hold yourself Accountable. Enjoy the chaotic ride that is college football.